From the recording Two Birds to Kill a Stone
© Ben Diamond (ASCAP) ben@ben-diamond.com
Lyrics
It was evening when I woke up, I dreamed of you beneath the redwood tree
You said “I think that I believe in G-d, but I don’t think he believes in me”
I hitchhiked up to Trumansburg, to get a ladder to get real high
But I found myself at the bottom of a glass, swirling sugar from a Rock and Rye
This town ain’t got no service, and this bar ain’t got no phone
So I couldn’t call and ask you for, two birds to help me kill a stone
It rained all night in my home town, at least that’s where I think I was at
They tried to sell me two umbrellas, but I own the world’s biggest hat
I went to the coup and the chicken’s ran away, I know it was my own damn fault
So I put all the eggs in one small basket, and ate them with a grain of salt
Now I wish I hadn’t eaten those eggs, I wish I’d have let them grown
Cause I know some day I’m gonna need them birds if I ever want to kill this stone
I slipped and fell in the bathtub, I was dressing while washing my clothes
The water came up over my head and I swallowed it through my nose
The landlord came in and yelled at me, I could tell he was not amused
I asked for a hand but he gave me a finger, a thousand pictures for the word he used
My head was aching, my ego was bruised, but I was lucky not to break a bone
All I need right now is a bottle of gin and two birds to help me kill this stone
They towed my car again this week, they don’t like my caddy-corner parking
My back is up against the drawing board and I’m in the wrong tree, barking
If everyone’s entitled, why is there so much that I lack?
Won’t you help me place this one last straw upon my camel’s back?
And if you’d be so kind to me, I’d ask you for a loan
All I need from you is two small birds, to help me kill this stone.
I spilled some milk this morning, it’s been a long time since I cried
I should not have listened to that sleeping dog, you know I should have let him lie
So I put nine stitches in my sock, I figured it would save some time
I thought about calling in a tip, but I must have dropped my dime
Then I heard that dog got busted, unloading in a loading zone
I took it as a sign, it takes two birds to kill a stone
I picked an apple up off the ground, it fell far from the apple tree
I got busted down on Easy Street, stealing candy from a crying baby
I took all the coins from the fountain, I made a pile of heads and tails
I can plainly tell the difference but, it ain’t enough for me to post my bail
And now I clearly see my future, as defined as the Great Unknown
And the angels they are singing, it takes two birds to kill a stone